3 Lessons Grief Has Taught Me (so far)

Imagine your first day of school; the nerves, anxiety, the hugs, the tears- by children and parents… now the last, with relief from the labors of education, capped off by a walk across the stage into a new world.

On Wednesday, May 11, 2016, those two opposite experiences collided dramatically when my 4yo granddaughter, Alanna, died in an accident and graduated to Heaven. In that exact moment, my family and I entered our first day in the school of grief and our lessons began.

Following are three (of the many) lessons I have learned from grief so far:

  1. When you’ve been thrown from the boat, the waters are violent, you’re drowning, cannot breathe and all you can say is “Lord help me!” He will.
    I don’t remember much from the day I learned of my granddaughter’s death, but I remember being told, “Your grandson does not know what happened to his sister and I feel its only right that you tell him.” I needed a strength I didn’t have. I asked God to help me and He did. “Lord help me!” has become a common phrase in my vocabulary since that day.

  2. I have to actively believe and trust God acknowledge He is still good despite my circumstances. I had to decide if I was going to live out the theology I proclaim on Sundays now that my Wednesday had come. This lesson guides my grief journey and how I travel. God sets the course, how we chose to travel it matters.
  3. As I hold out my damaged/withered hand, God will heal it. (And use it to heal others) I am damaged, but not destroyed. I am thankful God has been using my wife and me to help others on their grief journey. Holding out my withered hand, my grief, before God, I know it will add to my healing and I pray yours too.

This blog features content from my “What grief has taught me” talk. I speak at conferences, organizations, and corporations on the topic of grief and I’d love to serve you. Contact me and let’s start the conversation.

These are my lessons, I’d love to hear yours. Please comment below and let’s talk about it.

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